I’m going to re-engineer this blog. In the meantime, my trip report can be found here
June 19, 2010
April 4, 2010
Backstage At A Trekker Convention Somewhere in the United States Halfway Between Los Angeles, CA and Stony Brook, NY
As the crowd chants “Jeri! Jeri! Jeri” a crowd of 40something men with spare model airplane parts and laser pointers painted black and glued to their faces and a small minority of women who are traced in laser pointer red dots any time they move, we travel backstage where the featured and honoured guests ready themselves to take the stage after liberal drive-bys of the complimentary guests bar….
Bakula: I’m just saying it should be CAPTAINS order, that’s what I’m saying…
Mulgrew: I… Agree…
Bakula: in order of air date, most recent first…
Mulgrew: that… Is… CRAZY, your show lasted 3 seasons, I was captain… For… Seven.
Bakula: it was four seasons, and that’s not the point, I was the more senior…
Mulgrew: That’s… Outrageous!!!
Stewart: we are starfleet CAPTAINS!!. We are defined by our actions, and our impact on Star Fleet..
Bakula: you are NOT going first, Patrick.
Stewart: ours had the greatest impact, this is undeniable!
Mulgrew: oh stop! The audience was desperate.
Stewart: and we did it without the cheap theatre gimmickry of a… BORG… In a spandex bodystocking.
Mulgrew: that… Was… A… Logical plot… Move….
Bacula: haha, yeah… Haha… Right!! Your ratings were worse than ours before spandex and padding showed up magically left the collective!
Stewart: the way forward is clear, by seniority I go first!! Listen to them, they’re chanting my name.
Mulgrew: they’re chanting “Jeri” not Patrick.
Stewart: they are very clearly here to see me, I’ve done Scrooge and Star Trek movies. I was doing sci fi before you two were acting, I did…..
Bakula: oh stop! You had a bit part and everyone went to that movie to see Matilda May naked…
Stewart: How… DARE… YOU!!!! I won a BAFTA…
Mulgrew: Gentlemen, clearly it should be ladies FIRST. I go out sit in the middle chair, then you… Two… Gentlemen come out and sit on… Either… Side.
Bakula: haha, try again Kate. We tried that in Minneapolis and I couldn’t walk past the two of you, you both kept your chairs back.
Mulgrew: that was a mistake, the table should have been further forward
Stewart: ABSOLUTELY correct account of what transpired
Bakula: won’t happen again.
“Ladies and gentlemen: Jeri… RYAN!!!!”
Bakula: what!?! She’s not even in Star Fleet!!
Stewart: outrageous unsurpation of command structure!!!
Mulgrew: logically I should go next, she’s part of MY crew!!!
February 16, 2010
January 20, 2010
Vegetarian Abalone?
So I bought some stuff on sale at the chinatown vegetarian meat place including two frozen vegetarian abalone.
Let me just say if the meat version is as odd as the veg version I don’t know what the attraction may be. The veg version also has algae to give it a slightly fishy, yet unnervingly slimey texture- much like a real abalone I suppose..
Granted, I microwaved it, but I don’t necessarily believe that made things better or worse. Thinly-ish sliced, and it was sort of a quivering-ish sort of gooey splat in a caucasion skin tone that made it seem disturbingly like something someone might find growing progressively larger on their body.until the urgent need for removal set in out of progressively growing fear of a “something wrong” situation.
As. I continue to think about what I’ve just consumed I feel slightly skittish in the tummy area.
I am both attracted and repulsed at what I may find if I google an abalone to see what sort of life form the veg version attempted to mimic with – I suspect – disturbing authenticity from the slime to the soft and gooey-ish texture. Whether or not I ever google this sea-based life form, what I’ve just experienced will never – I fear – be free of my memory.
